showered with kings

"more coffee for me boss, 'cause i'm not as messed up as i want to be" -They Might Be Giants, Hearing Aid.

last night we went and saw the director's cut of alien in the theater. which was pretty cool. not exactly my favorite movie, but it is well-done. i guess it's partly that i knew the story years ago, well before i ever saw it. and it is a jumpy-thrilly thing.

got into an argument because i was using the word "intelligent" where i meant "rational." which is telling. i think of intelligence as cold, rational logic. spock is intelligent. robots are intelligent. they are not human, and i think therefore are lesser. irrationality is what makes humans human. going back for the cat is human. and good. but not rational. and i gloss rational as intelligent and irrational as stupid. humans have to be stupid. otherwise they are not human. this is yet another thing on the big list of shit pat needs to fix.

i've been really angry and caustic recently. and it's habitual at this point, which is the problem. i don't want to be an asshole without thinking. but i have been. i need to think before i speak. i've been taking my anger out on everyone around me, instead of fixing problems i can fix and swallowing those i cannot. i feel much more violent too. stats in 9 minutes.
hang on hang on tightly.
they might be giants or they might be giants
they might be rain, they might be heat,
they might be frying up a stalk of wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat
they might be giants or they might be giants

make the merry-go-round go faster so that everyone has to hold on tighter, just to keep from being thrown to the wolves

okay, stopping that.

where was i? also went to a bar last night, for a bit.

we were once so close to heaven
peter came out and gave us medals
declaring us the nicest
of the damned

i should get some doctors. i need a general practioner, then i need an optometrist, because i am out of contacts, a chiropractor, and probably a therapist. i need to go talk to a dean on monday. i need to do laundry.

later today we go to a party in south jersey, where i'll see Tab and Kim, who i haven't seen in about a year. okay, more than a year. yeah.