it's nearly two am. I took some serotonin, but it's very gentle. I miss her. it's worse, I think, the past week or two. I blame google plus, I keep seeing her, and I don't want to not see her, I just miss her a lot. ive been trying, and succeeding so far. I have left her alone, I have only had one slip of asking about her, but there was no response.
I wish I were asleep. I wish I didn't have so much trouble thinking about something else in the dark, in the sound of the fan, I wish my mind would drift, not turn like needle and cork. that's the wrong direction, brain.
oh brain, why are we so often at odds? what is the use in keeping me up?
time to try again.
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