padmaclynne: (Default)
so i thought i'd think out my freespirit packing list here, so people might point out things i have completely forgotten:

small things that come to mind first:

my pocketknife
magic balm for cuts and bites and stings
lighter (need two backups)(won't actually have them)
a travel mug for coffee. coffee is important and good.

jeans i will wear for the drive down and tuesday while i am sheriffing, because it's important to have pockets. also sunday on drive up.

a pen. maybe a pencil too.

wow, this might work better if i had some kind of system:

food:
stuff to make chili
hummus and pita and baba ganoush and etc for tuesday lunch
burrito bar -- beans and cheese and rice and etc for the other lunch we are doing

ramen. i have a pile of clif/luna bars. i'd like to have lara bars, but they are expensive. i should just grind up dates and nuts myself.

two flats of 24 half-liter bottles of water -- probably need more.

powdered gatorade.

need at least 4 amps and 4 monsters and however much caffeine amy needs.

my trash-bag poncho, because it's in good shape and i shouldn't waste a perfectly good trash-bag poncho.

all of my sarongs.

the tent, the sleeping bag, need another sleeping bag. and we should get some sort of foam pad because air mattresses always deflate during the night, at least enough to make sitting up unpleasant.

sheets, blankets, pillows.

cooler, big green tub.

shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, contact stuff, glasses, painkillers, sunscreen, emergen-c? brush.

sweater. long sleeved shirt. tank top. some socks. meds. at least 4 towels. plus maybe a disposable one.

ganesh? some kumkum, some abil? some sandalwood? sun mask? not for wearing, i don't have contacts, but to know is there? tlaloc.

there is a good chance i am about to spend a week in the rain, naked except for a black plastic bag, a sarong and a radio.

i'm looking forward to it, despite anything else.

dishes. forks and knives. crockpot. two pots? knife, spoons, can opener,

journal? i need to be able to write stuff down.

need to talk to cat about cauldron. need to pick ritual gear.


i should bring illuminatus! and read a page a day.

i know i am forgetting things. that is the point of this little exercise.
padmaclynne: (Default)
i wrote the following while drunk a night or two ago. monday? yeah, monday night. i wrote it on hillary's computer and then mailed it to myself. i think i had reasons at the time.



joe's meat is clean.

i mostly stopped eating meat.

i'll eat other people's meat. i'll eat leftover meat, if i come to visit and you serve meat i will eat it happily and with lust.

i'll eat deer, hunted. wild turkeys. they are filthy with the land. but they make it no filthier.

well, not overwhelmingly.

i ate kangaroo, because i could. very beefy. good. not amazing, but very good. i enjoyed it, and if i have to live in australia, i'll be eating a lot, i suspect.

well, unless australia becomes the paradise of the new atlantis. which assumes a) autralia's climate becomes suddenly very very farmable. b) atlantis is now antarctica.

right. my point is that joe's meat is clean. i will eat anything he raises. i will eat anything he hunts. i will eat any meat proffered, and i will eat it with joy and blessing.

yes, i know i'm a crazy person, but god is kinda crazy, right? most of mine are. there is a movie to support my thesis.

so i like the sun. and i like the hanged man. and i like the guiding will to be female, because i'm mostly straight, and i'm in love with direct reactions on a quantum level that may result in multiple universes, but obviously this world comes from the last moment, which is proceeded by previous one, where all atomic and chemical reactions occur and yes i know this is gibberish, but i'm having fun. are you?

point: i like the tricksters. i don't think of myself as one, but then i sober up. or get drunk. can't remember which. it's one of those two, i think.

i might be slightly mischievous, yes. there might be a little pan or something. i ain't coyote. i ain't. i'm Rabbit through and through. you just don't know Rabbit through and through.

i may be a little satyish.

i may love maenads, though they will tear me to bits.

i like loki. he's okay by me. dude scares me, but he's norse. they're scary. and i've dreamt of hanging, not by the neck, but by several ropes, and i've dreamt of a lost eye and the flash of lightning. since i was very young.

i haven't spoken much to the aesir. kinda scared of them most of my life. still mostly scared. they choose, y'know? they speak in a certain way, and they still speak.

i like my new gods and new faces for the old. i need to take a picture of the picture i drew of anansi. i think it worked.

i like holly very much, the way we tell the year. i feel him in my right arm, gathering strength. i've said, since the tattoo, that now i have two left hands.

hillary got me a beautiful glass bull, although i never spoke of it before. it was a while ago. he caught my attention when i was arranging tiny plastic sushi; a meal of tamago nigiri, some sort of hand roll with something green and i believe tuna, six pieces of i think all-vegetable maki, a tiny box of orange juice, with straw, a pair of chopsticks in their wrappers, and a cup with green tea (with teabag!). and four plates:
two blue, with flowers,
one red with flowers,
one white with chibi elephant and pink and blue hearts.

and that was meal one of ten. technically, you pay 2.99 for a chiclet, and the tiny plastic sushi is a surprise.

man i want some of the other meals. one has sake, another has a clipboard and a visual menu--you know, pictures of nigiri with their names and english ingredients. but super-tiny.

the orange juice box, maybe a 1/2, closer to 1/3 of an inch, has, under the nutrition facts the address: http://www.re-ment.co.jp/

it's pretty damn neat. but it seems that there are serious collectors. and i don't want to spend much money trying to get a super-tiny steamed dumplng. not worth it. unless it is a magic chiclet.

okay, i'm going to go eat a small snack and go to bed. goodnight.
padmaclynne: (Default)
so i'm working on stuff. last time i tried to read aradia, i got part-way through and then mgg took it back to the library. not that i was still reading, really.

it's not like it's long, it's just irritating. the entire stance is objectionable to me. i think much of it is a very bad idea, and it's really rude.

but to be more specific:

"I bake the body and the blood and soul,
The soul of (great) Diana, that she shall
Know neither rest nor peace, and ever be
In cruel suffering till she will grant
What I request, what I do most desire,
I beg it of her from my very heart!"

i don't like threatening gods. or spirits. i'm just fine with enticing, honoring, sacrificing to, but threatening people so they'll be nice to you doesn't work in my experience, and really doesn't work in a long-term relationship.

this is not how i want to do things.

i want my invisible friends to like me. and i like them. otherwise i wouldn't think of them so often.

i do like the mythology, though.

i like diana as spinning but lucifer turning the wheel, because i can easily use that with my eris and samael system.

the star-mice thing is entertaining.

i dunno. i just don't like binding spirits to my will. i don't like creating servitors, although i'm just fine with setting aside part of my mind. (technically i chant om gam continuously--just not always consciously) so like the red goblin in the stone, that makes me uncomfortable.

and forcing diana to do your dirty work, to make deals with devils. not cool. it's okay to ask people to watch your back, and to protect you, but the gods do not serve you.

and magical trance-rape is not cool. if a girl doesn't intend to come to your bed, and will be enchanted to forget the night, that is rape. creepy, too.




i think i found out why we read this book:

"It should be observed, and that earnestly, that the prayer, far from being answered, will turn to the contrary or misfortune, unless the one who repeats it does so in fullest faith, and this cannot be acquired by merely saying to oneself, "I believe." For to acquire real faith in anything requires long and serious mental discipline, there being, in fact, no subject which is so generally spoken of and so little understood. Here, indeed, I am speaking seriously, for the man who can train his faith to actually believe in and cultivate or develop his will can really work what the world by common consent regards as miracles. A time will come when this principle will form not only the basis of all education, but also that of all moral and social culture."

and here is something i like: To Have a Good Vintage and Very Good Wine by the Aid of Diana

i like the supplication. there is no threatening, and i like the admission that even the blessing of a good vintage is not freedom from care. apparently this is also older in leland's interpretaion. i also like the thing about the horned moon and job and stuff.

and i very much like tana and endamone. and the invocation to diana in chapter 13.

so that's it. chunks were interesting, chunks were really not the way i want to do things, but i like the quiet (mostly) statement that there is magic, and that it works. which is a nice thing to read. reassuring, y'know?
padmaclynne: (Default)
article on the folklore of homeless kids in miami. do me a favor: tell me what you remember about bloody mary. i remember that if you chant her name, 3 times, (3 times 3 times?) while looking into a mirror in a dark room, a spot of blood will appear on the mirror and then bloody mary will come through the mirror and kill you. or, at least once i heard she appears in the mirror behind you. anyway, death. there was some sort of connection to jack the ripper. maybe some sort of thing about typhoid mary too. i think i heard once that bloody mary was typhoid mary. i'm pretty sure i never heard that bloody mary was the virgin mary, but i seem to remember stuff about them being sisters, or evil twins, or just spiritually opposites. really fascinating stuff. gonna go look for more info.
padmaclynne: (Default)
so, last night i took care of that thing with that guy.

which means that i took a red candle, 40 of st. ides and a pack of newports as an offering to this spirity thing. which we felt very good about afterwards.

also, i miss having no tolerance.

and tonight i work from 9-1. so i will see mgg next, um, maybe for a few minutes tomorrow morning. then later at, um, one sec, lemme check the schedule...

around 4:30. because i don't have Anthro of Religion this monday. because the atheist professor needs Yom Kippur off. yup.

i have a nice cardboard tube, so i wanna be the Cardboard Tube Samurai for samhain.

it's a really good tube.

i also think i'm coming down with something.

and sometime soon, i'm gonna start having dinner with rich on wednesdays.
padmaclynne: (Default)
so. i recently read the seamus heaney translation of beowulf. and in the intro, he talks about his choice of so as the first word. and i liked it. so i've been starting things with so. um. stuff:

bluestar mabon
my mabon
d&d last night.

uh. let's write these in reverse order, because i like to fuck with you. maybe, when i'm done, i'll scramble all the words. or just rearrange all the sentences. then remove all punctuation and spacing. bwa ha ha.... ooh i'm tired.

so, yesterday, me and mgg go up to east hanover and madison to pick up my comic books. Hunter is increasingly disjointed. haven't read lucifer or SiP yet. on the way there, i call johnny, joey and scott, asking them to meet me at the café to hang out for a bit. astonishingly, they are all availiable. really. which is truly astonishing. astonishing. sorry, running on 3 hours of sleep here. maybe 3 and a half. right. so we buy my comic books, about 5 months of them, and we talk to the guy who works there about Chris Ware and his new book, Quimby the Mouse, and how the guy is a genius. just, really incredible stuff, guys. click on the link. it's amazing work. okay, so then to the café, which is closed. and scott is standing in front of. so we make some calls and reconvene at brookside. there, johnny gets the idea of gaming tonight. after some persuasion, we decide to do so. it's about 4, and mgg needed to leave by 5:30, so she heads home. we were originally just gonna do some lighthearted hack&slash, but scott just can't run those. which is good, but we are all morons. we make some characters, 1st level, 3rd ed., and spend easily an hour trying to find a healer who could join us adventuring. yeeeeah. but later, it got interesting. it was really all our fault, not scott's, but i should have just played a fucking healer. so we play til 2, i get home at 3, i fall asleep about 3:30 and i wake up at 7. not 7:30, when the alarm is set for, but 7. i came into work at 8:30, already had one of today's 2 classes, and will not get to eat breakfast until about 3. uh. next topic.

my mabon. or "Spinning Cheese Mystic Weasel" and mgg's mabon. i baked two pumpkin pies, we had some people over, we ate stuff, and we need to make next Mabon more pagan. yeah. and we need main dishes. when i go home, i'm going to eat way too many brownies.

balefire's mabon was good, but i was at the kid's table... which is where the two very young girls with crushes on me and liam sat. they were across the table, and i try not to be mean, but sometimes it's irritating to be the object of a preteen's adoration. y'know, they might be 13. and they would probably flip out over being called preteen.

time for stats! of the 9 macs, 3 are being used. of the 17 dells, 9. one mac and one dell are down.

balefire: used 3 round tables, so we made 3 small circles. don't think it worked very well. but that's okay. also feels like a slim year ahead.

my sundew is flowering. and we need to bring plants inside.

we are getting a new cat from my sister. it will be a good kitty.
because i say so.


okay, gonna read comics now.
padmaclynne: (Default)
working on a essay for U.S 1, about anne hutchinson, and really amazed by the synchronocity with the early christian persecutions(dev europe 1, last week) and A Man for All Seasons which is about Sir Thomas More, and we finished yesterday in anthro of religion. hurricane isobel should hit thursday. which is cool. been sleeping longer and getting tired earlier again. i don't want it to get bad again. basically, the problem is that she was a woman with a great deal of political and religious power, trying to bring a word of god to the puritans, and scaring the shit out of the ones in power, partly because they would lose power and partly because they thought that heresy in the colony would lead to punishment from god, a la Israel. so... they feared that those darn Babylonians would show up and enslave them. pesky assyrians. still need to buy many books. get paid friday. then books. and maybe a soda. ripping all my cd's to mp3s, so i can sell the originals. old imac should go up on ebay soon. loan will probably be a while though. i set up one end of my stick. it was saturday night, a bit after midnight. i went out onto the balcony, saw it was foggy, and realized i needed to go do things with the stick. grabbed a candle, lighter and my leather jacket. note that i did not take my hat. as i get outside, it just barely begins to drizzle. i go to the pondy thing, see a raccoon on the way there, and light the candle just after it starts dumping water. i hunch over the candle to protect the flame, set the end of the stick on fire, and put it out in the muddy end of the pondy thing. i think it went well.

today i ate tuna salad. i should go eat something else.

emmys happen soon apparently.

can't go to games night tomorrow because i have a shift from 9 till 1.

i have work at 8:30 tomorrow. (that's really just to remind me)

biting my cuticles again. i feel stressed. painted my nails the good blue that mgg likes. gonna suck when we run out. have no idea if the brand still exists, let alone the color. i like being able to hold conversations about eyeliner. thank you tessa!

food, i guess.
padmaclynne: (Default)
quizzes )

found a stick today. it's a nice stick. i already smoothed it out with steel wool. next i plan to set an end, or both ends, on fire, extinguishing said fire by blowing out the flame and dipping the stick in water, either from the raritan, passion puddle or the ocean. then let stick dry, saturate with orange oil, or linseed oil, and rub with myrrh. please don't use the w-word for my stick. it is perfectly happy being a stick. i really wanna play magic. it's been a while. working on molly's room today. prolly gonna be late with term bill. which bites. yup. one of the strawberries turned into a straisin.
padmaclynne: (Default)
You're...what's-his-name...
Well, you're the average hobbit, more or less. There's not a lot to say about you. You never really said much, though you showed more smarts that Pippin (marginally,) not that anyone can tell the difference between Pippin and you anyways. You're that other hobbit who doesn't say or do much. The one who's name people forget on a regular basis, who only stands out because we don't remember you. You're nice and fairly accepting of this, though, and take it in stride. Advice: Do something different. Wear a flamboyant purple hat with a huge white plume or something. Shave your head and get a tattoo. Invest in a sparkly jumpsuit from the Disco Era. Grow a 'fro. Make an effort to stand out, boy!
Which Horribly Mocked Fellowship Character Are You?
This quiz made by Kourin




my brother is also a CG elven ranger/bard follower of Solonor Thelandria

hmmm.


okay. my wheel of the year. i use mostly the blue star wiccan names of holidays, i think. i'm gonna overlap, and i'm gonna start with the birth of the empire. i use a primitive duality, cause, well, they make sense to humans. but i think of light as a barbarian horde, and dark as an ordered empire. okay, i really think of it as everybody cool vs. rome.

Lughnasa: Midpoint between summer solstice and autumn equinox: Wheat Harvest and Begin Rot. Fall quarter begins. this is the birth of the empire of cold, order and death. after the harvest, rot, which is kinda a battle between life and death, begins. the rotting of fallen leaves and fruit and such parallels the slow increase in power of the dark, as it expands. at the same time, light is weakening. you should make a compost heap. feed it until samhain.

Mabon: Autumn Equinox: Big Harvest. (Monday) this is the day that the waning Light and waxing dark are equal, and the the the empire is officially founded. there's a big fight, and dark wins. this is the first day of the dark half of the year. the light is still around, but it is definately in the minority after Mabon.

Samhain: Midway between autumn equnox and winter solstice: End Harvest and Last Light. winter quarter begins. on Samhain, you stop harvesting because officially everything dies. officially, rot pauses for the winter. you burn jack o lanterns because the last glimmers of the barbarian tribes are trapped in the big dark pumpkin of the empire. you should keep a candle stub from one of the jackolanterns for imbolc.

Yule: Winter Solstice: this is the longest night, the pinnacle of dark. so you stay up all night . unfortunately, this is also where decadence and lead poisoning set in. it begins the craziest part of the year. and the coldest bits. where rot really pauses.

Imbolc: midpoint tween winter solstice and spring equinox. First Light and Lambing. spring quarter begins. rebirth of the barbarian tribes. rot begins again. so feed your compost. worms. sheep and cows give birth. you burn a hell of a lot of candles, using the samhain stub to light them. the candles are not to be placed in lanterns, and if possible should be lit outside, or at least where the light can shine out.

Ostara: Spring equinox: First Planting. this day the waxing light overthrows the empire of dark. with lots of growing. and warmth. and secret armies of ladybugs, fresh from their hibernation. and bunnies. and chicks. Reign of Light Begins. (first day of light half of the year) use your compost pile for planting until beltaine.

Beltaine: midpoint between spring equinox and summer solstice. End Rot and End Planting. Make sure you keep part of your compost heap to start the new one on Lughnasa. stop planting things. summer quarter begins. have sex. partly to have children at imbolc, but mostly because it's sex. and you don't have to plant anything. and it's warm enough that you can send the kids out to play for a few hours. better yet, go have sex outside. oh, the compost heap is officially dead. cause the empire is dead. but you can still loot it. that's okay.

Litha: Summer solstice: pinnacle of light. after today, the barbarian tribes start fighting amongst themselves. because it's fucking hot. and we all get irritable. you need to wake up before dawn. and you can't sleep until you see some stars. unless you live in a city. then it just has to get pretty dark. but ya gotta be awake all of the time the sun is
up.


Lughnasa (again): Midpoint between summer solstice and autumn equinox: Wheat Harvest and Begin Rot. Fall quarter begins. this is the birth of the empire of cold, order and death. cause, um, like, one of the barbarian tribes starts beating up the others. and then it thinks up government. damn etruscans. use your saved bits of compost to start a new heap. don't beat your sister with a rake while you do it. oh, i forgot an important part of most of these holidays.


drink. have fun. drive a tiny ceramic car, and spoon-duel your mother. no, let her have the long spoon. she's shorter. find fuzzy plants. laugh. sing. eat things. dance as many maypoles as you can get away with. spend time with the people you love. celebrate, don't just honor.

theory

Sep. 24th, 2002 09:42 pm
padmaclynne: (Default)
so. i'm tossing out a theory:


things... um, spirits, deities, ghosts, etc. are capable of poking around with energy.

making people feel... wiggly... is easy. you just need a smidge of electricity in the headmeats.

making one person see something is easy too. more electricity, different part of the head. hearing too.

making a machine see them, like a camera, means making light. much harder. unless it's a videocamera, and they really know what they are doing, in which case they just play with electricity. i have misspelled, in some way, the word electricity the first 3 times i wrote it. grr.

point is, matter is lots of energy. very, very hard.


i keep wanting the supernatural to just wander up and smack me. say "Hey! Pat! Look at Me!"

i am relatively certain that i just autohypnotize myself when i want to feel or see things. i doubt as to whether or not i ever saw auras, in the sense of colored EM fields surrounding people. because everything glows nowadays. and the glow doesn't change, it doesn't have colors.

i was working on a year wheel yesterday. it makes some sense. i think i'm gonna post this as a lj entry too. i was kinda concerned about weirding people out, but i don't really enjoy self-censorship. and i was worried that someone would just attack these ideas. fuck that. i'm gonna say things. i will not talk about othe people by name in lj, but i can throw thaese ideas out.

i get depressed sometimes. mostly when i'm alone. and i don't want faith, i want magic. i want to see things, and feel them. not just when i am in deep trance-states. most of the time. i want to feel it in my bones when all of the rest of you do.


as long as it's not all dead mirror clowns.

Profile

padmaclynne: (Default)
padmaclynne

May 2013

S M T W T F S
   1 234
567891011
12131415161718
19 202122232425
262728293031 

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 22nd, 2017 04:45 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios